West and [Middle] East – Academic meeting

Although it was quite a few years ago, I still remember my feelings as an 18-year-old freshman at UC Santa Cruz on the first day of college, physically registering for classes (pre-Internet days). I felt fear and great uncertainty as I circulated among my fellow new students, all mostly entirely white and 18 years old and having just completed high school.  Our accumulated non-academic life experience and self-confidence was rather close to absolute zero even if we tried to hide this lack. In terms of religion, most were Christian with a small sprinkling of Jews and Muslims.  The largest minorities were Afro-Americans (to use the current term) and Asians, whose cultural norms were not that different from the other students. In other words, our lecturers looked on a rather homogenous group of students in terms of age and cultural background.

I have been teaching English at the Braude College of Engineering in Karmiel in the Galilee in Israel, for over 25 years now. The college, currently with some 5,500 students enrolled in its various programs, is a second-tier engineering college, behind the Technion, which is the MIT or Cal Tech of Israel, and offers first and second degrees in various disciplines, including mechanical and electronic engineering as well as biotechnology, programming and industrial management. The contrast with my undergraduate experience as I observe and communicate with my students is quite striking in all aspects.

First of all, the ages of my students range from 18 to 28. The youngest are Arabs from the surrounding villages, who are not required to serve in the army or do national service and, in many cases, are encouraged to get a degree before starting to work. The oldest are those that served in the army, often both the mandatory period and sometimes an additional period as “regular army, often followed by a trip to a distant land to clean their heads and preparatory studies of a year or more to improve their grades to be accepted at the college. Moreover, most have had significant life experiences, including combat service, officer training, setting up businesses and enriching trips abroad. They are far from innocent and, in many ways, much more knowledgeable than me.

In terms of religion, since the college is in the Galilee, students may be Jewish, Muslim, Druze, Catholic, Greek orthodox, Russian Orthodox or none of the above, as in the case of many Russians and their children. This means that the holiday calendar, as reflected by dates on which quizzes may not be given, is rather complicated.  Of course, during Ramadan, which lasts a month, many of my students have a hard time concentrating, especially if the holiday falls during hot weather, since many of the Muslim students neither eat nor drink during the day.

Beyond that, the behavior norms of Arabs, both Muslim and Christian, are quite different from the Jews. While latter tend to be direct and clear in expressing their understanding, agreement or lack thereof, Arab mentality, especially among the female students, is much more understated. They tend to avoid expressing their true state of comprehension or unhappiness. The true situation is often only discovered during testing as reflected by the actual results.

Given the age of most of the students and their understandable desire to gain economic independence, they are very directed in their studies.  Engineering studies are quite demanding and difficult, often involving more than 20-30 hours a week just of class time, not to mention homework. Since their goal is clear, most of my students accept the heavy burden of study in good cheer.

This heterogeneity has a strong effect on the whole style of teaching. Israeli college lecturers can be subject experts and even mentors but not parental figures. To be effective, it is necessary to be sensitive and flexible in approaching students. Some need direct challenges and questions while others have to be handled more indirectly in a more non-threatening manner. In terms of authority, given the self-confidence and experience of the students, teachers must show respect but clearly exercise authority to maintain “possession” of the class. Otherwise, they simply lose the students, who do not hesitate to complain about any improper aspect to the course coordinator or department head. By the nature of group dynamics, this fine line between authority and respect differs for each group of students, often depending on the ethnic mix of students. Thus, Israeli college lecturers, to an even larger degree than for most teachers in the country, not only have to be experts in their subject matter but also strong personalities to successfully lead a class.

Kipling wrote that East and West will never meet. It is clear that college teaching in this nook of the Middle East and in the United States, I imagine even today, are extremely different despite the similarities in the subject matter taught. I can say that, after many years of teaching, the aspect I most enjoy of this profession is my interaction with my students, who not only give me hope for the future but also personally enrich me with their insights and understanding.

The fifth commandment, as times goes by

There is a story I remember reading in my youth, apparently originally compiled by the Grimm Brothers, about giving a half blanket to an aging grandparent and keeping the other half for the parent when he becomes old and useless. (https://spellbinders.org/story/old-grandfather-and-the-half-blanket/) The morale of the story is that the grandson will treat his parents just like his father treated his father, i.e., by sending him away when he becomes old and useless.

Times have changed but human nature has not. We learn human relations, especially patterns of family interaction, from example, not words.  We do as we see, not as we are told. As my parents are now in their 90’s, I observe with amusement as I am doing as my parents do.

My paternal grandmother lived a long and not so happy life as did her many brothers and sisters, almost all reaching the age of 90+. She suffered from several serious diseases and psychologically found it difficult to deal the change in values in the 1960’s. In simple terms, she was a good, honest woman who could be difficult to deal with. My parents called her and her sister, who lived with her, at least once a day, drove them to and fro all holiday occasions, a 45-minute drive each way, and accompanied them through medical tribulations. While as a kid I “sort of” understood how much patience and energy this requires, I now realize that is was labor of love and duty.  Not only that, they never complained about this duty, accepting it as a part of life.

My maternal grandmother had even a harder life and was even more unhappy.  She was, well, Polish.  For those unlucky enough not to experience a Polish compliment, here is an example: You look good today, much better than yesterday. She used to call my mother every day at 8:00 and report all the disasters of the morning to my mother, which earned her the epithet bonnes nouvelles, good news in French. Needless to say, I could immediately identify a conversation with her by my mother lighting a cigarette.  Still, my parents did the same for her as they did for my other grandmother.  My step grandfather, a man whose major positive attribute is that he adored my grandmother, also lived to his 90’s. My mother and aunt made sure that he was well taken care of and visited him regularly.

Now, I live in Israel while my parents live in LA. Every night, we speak around 20 minutes on the phone. I fly to Los Angeles, a hellishly long flight, twice a year and have done so for over 28 years. In a modern twist, I now order items online for them. Fortunately, they have not had too many hospital visits, all things considered, although my father has had his scary moments. My brother has been there for those times.  My mother still drives and handles the frequent doctor visits. On the whole, my parents have required much more emotional than physical support.

This post is neither to complain nor to praise myself but to try to understand my willing choice to invest precious resources, i.e., time and money, on my parents.  That the fifth commandment exists does not obligate anybody, even the religious. Our decision to respect our parents, even when they could be viewed as a burden, is significantly based on example. Maybe, as the story suggests, we should honor our parents to make sure that our children honor us. I see the dutiful behavior of my daughter, now 21 years old, towards her grandparents and parents, with all of whom she has serious issues, and see that she is observing that commandment: Respect your father and mother. It could be said that investing in our parents is long term savings account, with very high interest, whose fruits we only see as time goes by.

My paternal grandmother and her sister

My maternal grandparents

The Foreign Feeling

Millions of people have immigrated as adults to countries whose official language is different from theirs.  The minute they say they open their mouths, people identify them as foreigners, regardless of how many years they have lived in that country.  As a personal example, my mother has lived in the United States for over 60 years while I am in Israel for 25 years.  We are still foreigners and identified as such.  Our experience applies to the millions of immigrants around the world.

Israelis are very accepting of immigrants since almost everybody is not more than a generation or two removed from that status.  Still, without intending to offend, some Israelis treat non-natives in frankly annoying ways. For example, they significantly slow down their speech and use overly simple words, as if we are small children with limited understanding. In other cases, they switch to my native tongue, English, not even giving me a chance to prove that I know Hebrew. The most annoying comment I have received is “You still have an accent.”  Most people who immigrated as adults keep their native accent to one degree or another, without any connection to their knowledge of the language.  Henry Kissinger was a good example of that.

Other attitudes don’t bother me.  I have no problem with a mortgage counselor reminding me to ask if I have any question. Even native Israelis have problem with legal/banking language, incidentally my specialization in translating. I don’t mind friends correcting my Hebrew mistakes.  Otherwise, how would I improve my language?   I find it completely natural to ask a native speaker to review anything I write in Hebrew.  I want to make a good impression and know that pride has a heavy price.  So, I ask my wife to edit my Hebrew.

So, for most immigrants who came as adults, the second language never completely becomes the first language.  We have our mistakes, hesitations, and accents, which nothing to do with our intelligence or knowledge of the language itself.  As Aretha Franklin sang so well, all immigrants want R E S P E C T.