Foodly illogical

Words are rather elusive objects. People tend to apply them in contexts so far from their origin that any connection becomes obscure. As an example, the word mouse most commonly refers today to a computer accessory that spends most of its time in the office or salon, not the kitchen or shed. Aside from computers, no area of activity has perverted meanings of words more than food. Those who either do not cook or watch cooking shows can find themselves clueless to what certain terms mean.

There is nothing sadder than the look of confusion of the first-time buyer of wine. While the taste of sweet wines is clear, that of dry wines is perplexing. It is clear that there is a liquid in the bottle, which mean that it is wet, not dry. Alas, the fact that all of the sugar has turned into alcohol is not evident at all.  Likewise, as everybody starts off unexperienced, virgin olive oil sort of makes sense. However, extra virgin olive is rather obscure, even considering extreme religious purity movements. For those not in the know, it means that the oil has gone through cold processing only, without any heating to remove impurities. Locally, in Israel, the major term for better and more expensive produce is the Arabic baladi. It is interpreted to mean homegrown or even sort-of organic and serves as a justification for higher prices and/or less attractive produce. What most Hebrew speakers do not know is that it merely means excellent in Arabic. For the cook or the store, it is not clear.

Cooking processes also have their tricky terms. Baking and cooking programs refer to clarified butter, which may imply that everybody understands that the product is butter. Alas, the clarification refers to the color produced by separating the butter into its components and using only the butterfat, not the solids or liquids. I hope the term is clarified now. As for poaching, it may seem strange that poaching animals is illegal and even is even causing extinctions, but many a brunch offered by respectable restaurants openly offer poached eggs and poached salmon. In this case, the products were not stolen but cooked in water although I imagine that in a few cases both meanings could apply. In regards to crime, many would say that the devil is quite busy sowing evil in this world, but it is hard to understand his obsession with eggs. Why he would think stuffing hard boiled eggs with mayonnaise and other ingredients, deviled eggs, could lead to sin is beyond my understanding.

Products can also be a bit bewildering. I watched Gumby as a kid and know that clay characters have a life of their own. So, when I first heard of kissing dough, I felt a bit animated. Then I realized that the kiss here refers to connecting of two items of baked goods. This is not so romantic, as Roseanne Roseannadanna  would say. Now, the title Baron brings up the image of middle-aged men with gout or even the World War I flying nemesis of Snoopy. However, in the (culinary) meat market, it is a large piece of meat consisting of two sirloins attached at a joint. Finally, if your egg or baked dished is van dyked, it does not mean that it has a bad fake accent (as in Bert in Mary Poppins) or even a mustache. This artistic term only implies that it has been cut in zig zags.

As they say in the translation business, there is nothing more dangerous than a little bit of knowledge. We may think we know what a word means but are completely unaware that it took a long detour into the world of food and came out something entirely, even unrecognizable, a bit like the ingredients in a fancy French dish. As Spock said, “Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

Waste not, want not

Every process has waste. This by-product may be toxic, as from certain industrial plants, due to heavy metal or chemical concentrations but generally most are useable, at least in theory and often in practice. 

Many of the remains of processed foods are used to create other foods. For example, after the juice of grapes are extracted to produce regular wine, their pulp and skins are fermented to produce a brandy called grappa. Likewise, coffee can be made from date pits. By adding sugar to orange peels, a wonderful sweet is produced. Potato skins are fried to create a light crispy snack. In Israel in falafel stands, the corners of pita cut off in order to stuff them are fried and offered to customers as a treat. In a similar fashion, the holes of donuts and broken  bits of pretzels are available for sale.

Other food bits are additions to other dishes.  Bread crumps are sometimes literally bread crumb and used in cheese cake and crumbles, to name a few items. Gelatin is a key ingredient in puddings and is produced from animal parts. Water in which corn cobs have been soaked serves as a thickener in soups. Celery greens are a source of salt. The best fish stock is made from the shells of lobsters, crayfish or shrimp. Whey, a by-product of the process of making yoghurt, is put into food dishes by Icelanders instead of wine.

In some cases, the food by-product is used for cosmetics. Walnut shells are grounded into a powder that serves as a base of makeup. The waste products of the olive oil production process, called Orujo, are also used in beauty products. People apply beet skins to their face to improve skin quality.

Finally, some industrial waste products have further uses. Sawdust creating during wood cutting is an essential ingredient of particle board. Precious diamond dust produced during the cutting and polishing process is used to coat drills. Likewise, bits of animal furs cut during the preparation of  coats are seamlessly patched together. Even today, waste fabric is the base material for the most expensive paper. One source of ethanol for vehicles is the cooking oil in which french fries and other fried items are cooked.

Whether because resources are limited or profits are needed, people are incredibly ingenious in finding uses for the most useless by-products. They take the waste out of waste products.

I am a flashlight (with apologies to Christopher Isherwood)

Computers and Internet have changed education. While schoolrooms still use books, paper pen and pencil, the tools of learning are increasingly computers, laptops, pads, cell phones and Google, not to mention Facebook and Instagram. Wikipedia has replaced Encyclopedia Britannica. I, as a teacher of English to engineering students at a college in Israel for over 25 years, have experienced this transition first hand, admittedly with mixed feelings and some resistance.

This revolution brings into question what exactly the role of a modern teacher is. Specifically, children have direct, unlimited and easy access to far better sources of information than any single teacher can produce. Students can find countless problems and solutions, including explanations, for any technical exercise in any field online, including English grammar, mathematical problems and chemical reactions. These online services are available around the clock, whenever students have the time and inclination to learn, as compared to the artificial hours of 8:00 am to 3:00 pm.  Moreover, the students can make errors, work at their own pace and express confusion without fear of ridicule from others, unless they choose otherwise. In other words, they can choose their ideal conditions.

Notwithstanding all these advantages, while today’s students may know more facts, they are far from better achievers from their antiquated parents or even grandparents. A look at achievement test scores, matriculation tests and even Facebook conversations worldwide paints a sad picture of current thinking and understanding skills. It is as if the plethora of information is at the expense of the ability to understand it. As a way of analogy, ancient Greek and Roman doctors, lacking imaging equipment and often the right to even do an autopsy, extrapolated incredible amounts of information from their limited data.

Several years ago, my department head, for some reason, asked the staff what we thought our main role was. My answer did not mention grammar, reading comprehension or vocabulary. I wrote at the time that it was to open the world to our students. What I meant and still mean is that my role as a teacher is show how information is related, the connection between past, present and future and the manner in which this world was and is being created.  I am not there mainly to provide facts or techniques but to shine a light on the whole picture, much of which students are completely ignorant and unaware, and give them tools to understand and interpret it.

As an example from my youth, in High School, we were studying the American Civil War (1860-1865), specifically its background. The teacher has us recreate the Dred Scott Supreme Court case (1857) in which it was ruled that a black man that escaped from the South was still considered property even though he lived in the North, where slavery was illegal. We spent at least two weeks researching and playing our roles.  During these two weeks, that teacher could have covered much more material, i.e., information.  However, we students gained an understanding of the social, legal and political situation in the United States before the Civil War, which could be extrapolated to after the war and even today and how to understand decisions from other cultures and eras that don’t make sense today. Thus, the teacher did not feed us facts but instead illuminated a historical and learning process.

As I am fortunate to teach a subject that is a tool, not a body of knowledge, I have the privilege of discussing, exposing and educating. Teachers can and must communicate the how and why, not only that the what. Learning should not only create pride over good grades but also a feeling of “wow” as a result of a moment of illumination as suddenly, for a moment, the world becomes clearer and more connected, even four dimensional. Teachers are, at their best, the flashlights of understanding, then and now.

The fifth commandment, as times goes by

There is a story I remember reading in my youth, apparently originally compiled by the Grimm Brothers, about giving a half blanket to an aging grandparent and keeping the other half for the parent when he becomes old and useless. (https://spellbinders.org/story/old-grandfather-and-the-half-blanket/) The morale of the story is that the grandson will treat his parents just like his father treated his father, i.e., by sending him away when he becomes old and useless.

Times have changed but human nature has not. We learn human relations, especially patterns of family interaction, from example, not words.  We do as we see, not as we are told. As my parents are now in their 90’s, I observe with amusement as I am doing as my parents do.

My paternal grandmother lived a long and not so happy life as did her many brothers and sisters, almost all reaching the age of 90+. She suffered from several serious diseases and psychologically found it difficult to deal the change in values in the 1960’s. In simple terms, she was a good, honest woman who could be difficult to deal with. My parents called her and her sister, who lived with her, at least once a day, drove them to and fro all holiday occasions, a 45-minute drive each way, and accompanied them through medical tribulations. While as a kid I “sort of” understood how much patience and energy this requires, I now realize that is was labor of love and duty.  Not only that, they never complained about this duty, accepting it as a part of life.

My maternal grandmother had even a harder life and was even more unhappy.  She was, well, Polish.  For those unlucky enough not to experience a Polish compliment, here is an example: You look good today, much better than yesterday. She used to call my mother every day at 8:00 and report all the disasters of the morning to my mother, which earned her the epithet bonnes nouvelles, good news in French. Needless to say, I could immediately identify a conversation with her by my mother lighting a cigarette.  Still, my parents did the same for her as they did for my other grandmother.  My step grandfather, a man whose major positive attribute is that he adored my grandmother, also lived to his 90’s. My mother and aunt made sure that he was well taken care of and visited him regularly.

Now, I live in Israel while my parents live in LA. Every night, we speak around 20 minutes on the phone. I fly to Los Angeles, a hellishly long flight, twice a year and have done so for over 28 years. In a modern twist, I now order items online for them. Fortunately, they have not had too many hospital visits, all things considered, although my father has had his scary moments. My brother has been there for those times.  My mother still drives and handles the frequent doctor visits. On the whole, my parents have required much more emotional than physical support.

This post is neither to complain nor to praise myself but to try to understand my willing choice to invest precious resources, i.e., time and money, on my parents.  That the fifth commandment exists does not obligate anybody, even the religious. Our decision to respect our parents, even when they could be viewed as a burden, is significantly based on example. Maybe, as the story suggests, we should honor our parents to make sure that our children honor us. I see the dutiful behavior of my daughter, now 21 years old, towards her grandparents and parents, with all of whom she has serious issues, and see that she is observing that commandment: Respect your father and mother. It could be said that investing in our parents is long term savings account, with very high interest, whose fruits we only see as time goes by.

My paternal grandmother and her sister

My maternal grandparents

Sweet nothing in name

Cotton candy, that spindly confection of sugar first marketed in 1904, is loved by children (and many adults) worldwide. Originally created in the United States, it has become a part of the entertainment culture of many countries.  As for all foreign products, the challenge has been to find a name for it in the local language.  The process is interesting as the chosen focus in the nomenclature varies.

The original American product was invented in partnership by a candy confectioner and a dentist.  Apparently, even though you are paranoid, conspiracies do really exist. In referring to their new product, they emphasized its most positive trait, sweetness.  It was called cotton candy. The Japanese literarily translated the word, calling it wata ame. Curiously, the Swahili word for it, pampa pipi, also refers to it as a sweet or candy.

However, its dominant feature in its translation is its texture.  The British called it candy floss, which became fairy floss in Australia, emphasizing its thin strings. Others grabbed on its overall texture, referring to its sweet cotton wool, including in Russian, сладкая вата [sladkaya vata], Hebrew, צֶמֶר גֶּפֶן מָתוֹק [tzemer gefen matok], Italian, zucchero filato, and Spanish, algodón de azúcar, literally cotton of sugar.

Yet, a third route exists.  As cotton candy is light and airy, some cultures relate it to hair.  The French call it la barbe à papa, evoking the images of a grandfather’s beard. Similarly, the Arabic term, shaear albanat, literally meaning “girl’s hair”.

Regardless, all agree that cotton candy is sweet and airy.  All that remains open to debate, at least according to the Pittsburgh Pirates announcer Bob Walk, is which color is the real one, blue or pink. Personally, as Rhett Butler so ceremoniously declared in Gone With the Wind,I don’t give a damn as it is way too sweet for me, whatever hue it has been given. Most people, especially children, would disagree with me and rightly so.  Life needs more sweet nothings.

The elemental heights of the Golan

This weekend, the stars aligned in a particular fashion. It was the weekend before my birthday; we had arranged far in advance a cottage in the Golan Heights to celebrate it; it had rained and snowed throughout the week leading the weekend; the storm broke on Thursday night; and the next weather front only appeared on Sunday afternoon. The meaning of these circumstances is that my wife and I enjoyed an amazing weekend in the Golan Heights.  I do not mean fighting the traffic jams and lines to Mount Hermon, Israeli's only ski site, not to mention the sheer density of people there.  I am referring to the amazing pleasure of the most basic elements of the Golan Heights experience: its rocks, water and wind.

Only an hour away from the Galilee where I live, the Golan Heights are immediately distinguishable by its rocks, mostly created by its volcanic past. The grounds are liberally sprinkled with basalt rocks of various sizes as if they had been dumped there by trucks.  The wall of old buildings, whether from the ancient Talmudic period or the more modern Syrian period, are made from basalt. The Avital Volcanic Park, an artfully adopted quarry site, provides an amazing inside view of the volcanic forces that shaped the area. Finally, we never got tired of looking at the white shiny peak of Mt. Hermon, covered in snow and glowing in the winter sun. Each view was better than the previous.

Accompanying the solidness of the rock was the omnipresence of water. Created by the heavy rains and sustained by the almost solid rock below, almost every field had one or more blue pond, often with a happy-looking cow or horse enjoying the green grass around it. All along the roads, streams were noisily flowing. Where ever nature had created the proper conditions, waterfalls, big and small, played their music. The water created a sight and sound concert.

However, the unsung hero of the Golan heights was the wind. On the one hand, where we had to stand unprotected by any breaking feature, it was cold, lowering the temperature by several degrees. However, as we were properly dressed, I cannot say that we suffered from the cold. On the other hand, the wind carried the sounds of nature: flowing water, birds and singing leaves. The sounds of the mass movement of people, roar of vehicles and general noise of civilization were almost never be heard. The result was a magnificent and peaceful, albeit a bit lonely, feeling.

Together, these elements, not to mention some great food, made for a wonderful weekend and created a taste of “od” as they say in Hebrew, meaning the desire to do it again. While some people go the Golan for its skiing, I enjoy its more fundamental pleasures.

Love and Marriage – à la Dumas

This week, I took advantage of the flu to partake in one of my annual rituals, rereading Alexander Dumas’ The Count of Monte Cristo. One advantage of fluency in a foreign language is the privilege of reading literature in the original language.  In this case, I read the French, unabridged version, which is longer and contains several generally untranslated chapters, including one about taking Hashish. In any case, as I am well familiar with the story, I was able to concentrate, through the eyes of Dumas of course, on French upper-class society in the middle 19^th century. Specifically, it was interesting to consider the social relations between men and women at that time.

Among the families portrayed in the book, it was striking to see the loss of power of parents to determine marriages. All of the young people, either actively (Eugenie Dangler) or passively (Albert de Morceff) did whatever possible to escape the designs of their parents. Even if there is ostensible filial or daughterly obedience to the father, it is not internally accepted. In other words, love matches had already become common, if not completely accepted. By contrast, neither Edmond Dantės nor Mercedes even consider marrying each other at the end of the book. The reason may be that Mercedes was too emotionally wrecked or Edmond’s heart was with Haydėe but could be that widows did not remarry at the time.

Looking at the well-developed women characters in the book, you can see a high level of emancipation, at least as compared to most societies of the time. Women were entitled to inherit property, lead independent social lives and even have discreet lovers, of course as long as they did not make their husbands look ridiculous. Moreover, despite the clear legal dominance of males by law, in the book no husband actually orders his wife, merely politely but clearly requests. Women had a voice, albeit a smaller one than men.

One of the pleasures of the book, one shared by the dialogue of Tolstoy’s War and Peace, another of my annual reading pleasures, are the delightful and poignant conversations. Within the framework of formal politeness and respect, people express the entire range of emotions, from the closest friendship to the strongest hatred, all while never raising their voice or using a foul word. Civil society is maintained even while uncivil thoughts are expressed. At least in that respect, modern society has gone downhill.

If, by any chance, anybody distainly notes that I have not inserted any quotes to justify my opinions, it is by intention.  My purpose is not to produce a literary criticism but encourage the rereading of an old classic.  The book has not changed since the last time but our eyes and sensitivity have, rendering our experience as good as if not better than the first time. Ultimately, old friends are no less enjoyable than new ones.

*Image taken from Amazon.