Beautiful nothing

 

[picture of the Golan Heights from Ma'ale Gamla]

I just celebrated my birthday in a guest cabin (tzimmer in Hebrew) on the southern edge of the Golan Heights community of Ma’ale Gamla. The view from the porch overlooks a long barren slope leading down to the valley below with the fruit groves and water reservoirs and the eastern edge of the Sea of Galilee (Kinneret in Hebrew) to the left. In the far distance there are hints of Tzfat and other northern cities in Israel. Actually, due to the cloudiness and rain, everything was a bit grey and fuzzy. Aside from that, there is almost nothing there – no cars, no noise, no people and no tumult. In fact, the nearest restaurant is some 35 minutes by car. In short, aside from the fat garden cat (who has somehow avoided becoming lunch of the local wild dogs) and the resident birds, there was no action.

While for some this would be vacation from hell, for me, this is the place where merely being here makes me smile. I felt grounded there, at peace, undisturbed by the winds of real life. The nature is as unspoiled as you can get (and only 30 minutes from where I live). Bird song and cat meows filled any sound void. The quiet allowed my soul to relax. The pitterpattering of the rain on the roof was calming, reinforcing my determination not to anything forced. As for food, we brought our food, allowing us to eat whenever our stomachs so requested. As a couple, a few days away from the daily small annoyances of domestic life only reinforced why we are together. Work did not exist. As for what I did, the list is short: solved crossword puzzles, read le canard enchainé, stared at the Kinneret, slept, rested and ate too much chocolate; in short, I had a perfect weekend.

When I lived in Oregon, many moons ago, I knew factory workers who lived for their annual hunting trip, talking about it all year round and planning it in great detail. I now understand that type of thinking much better. These blessed moments of being where we want to be may be few and far between but they justify why we put up with the annoyances of work. I am lucky in that I have created a solid work balance and enjoy my routine. Still, balancing translation and teaching can sometimes be stressful in terms of time management and tasks. The knowledge that a few times a year I can do what gives me unadulterated pleasure makes life so much better.

There are those for whom heaven is an exciting day in a big city. For me, a quiet day in nature is much satisfying. Nothing can be so beautiful.

55 Thoughts

Having a birthday and blog creates an irresistible urge to share private thoughts about the matter.  The purpose is not to purvey for additional birthday greetings. That consideration is of little value at my age. Instead, a post offers an opportunity for any writer to unload some thoughts that weigh on the mind and somehow organize them, thus reducing their impact in some small way.

Clearly, turning 55 has individual connotations for people, depending on their situation and culture.  For example, in America, most people would consider you old and irrelevant while in Japan, you are still quite young and ready to take on a leading role in society. In Israel, I would consider it an age of respect. Specifically, I am still productive, more than ever in some ways, but clearly not part of the leading edge of society.  Thus, I deserve respect as an elder while not yet being invisible like a retired person.

Technology is the shibboleth of this tendency.  I do not own a smart phone. The reason is not financial but, peculiarly, I simply don’t see any need for it. For me, as a member of the previous generation, a phone is a phone, period, while a computer is a computer; never the twain shall meet. Even more old-fashioned, I feel no need to be connected by Facebook, Pininterest or any other social media.  My work as an English lecturer provides me with more than enough social interaction while my daily phone calls to my immediate family members are also more than enough for me. This lack of need to be connected with the hundreds and thousands of people through technology is clearly alien to my students and their generation. Yet, as with many matters, I have no problem with my “eccentricity.”

At the same time, I feel a bit privileged, if not superior, to have grown up in the pre-computer age in that I spent my free time reading books and filling my mind with “useless” knowledge that I find extremely useful in my two professions, translating and teaching.  On the contrary, I am continually shocked by the lack of background knowledge of my very intelligent engineering students, who can run circles around me on any technical device but have almost no idea of the world before they were born. I am not quite sure who is more handicapped, they or I.

On an interpersonal level, most people by the age of 55 have gone through some traumatic event in their life.  In my case, I had five interesting years involving a divorce and a difficult situation with my daughter. The main lesson of such an experience is that happiness depends on your relations with a very small number of people.  I invest my time and energy on them; everybody else can wait.

In short, as approach my double nickel birthday on Friday, I recall that poem by Jacques Brel: je suis comme je suis; je suis fait comme ca.  I am what I am; I am made like that. Based on my genetic history, I have around 35 more years to go.  I plan to enjoy each one as much as I can and do it, as Frank Sinatra said, my way as much as I can.