What do you do for a living??

Work is work, everywhere in the world.  For most people, it means showing up somewhere at a given time, fulfilling doing specified duties and getting paid more or less money for the pleasure.  However, the name for a given job description varies from place to place and language to language.  Some professional titles are understandable only to the locals.

For examples, if you are employed in an American office as a gofer, you do not make holes in the floor.  Instead, you are a low paid employee, often the offspring of a regular employee, whose jobs is to bring items from one place to another, i.e. go for this and go for that.  For young people with proper legs and sufficient energy, it is not a bad way to make some money.  By contrast, if you are a sanitation engineer, the work involves waking up early, lifting weights and dealing with foul smelling items.  In simple terms, the person is a garbage man, an admittedly less attractive title.  At least in compensation, thanks to strong local union, such engineers do earn a nice salary even without the formal education.

In France, a verbicruciste plays an important role in society. S/he helps hundreds of thousands of people pass the empty moments of life in buses, trains, toilets and doctors’ waiting room, to name just a few, by writing crossword puzzles for their entertainment.   No doubt, every country has such selected public servants, but not many give them such a wonderful title. 

In Israel, every large organization, especially kibbutzim, must have a pkak.  Literally meaning a cork, such person must be a jack of all trades and master of none.  If he were the latter, he would not be a pkak. The job description is extremely wide and varied and can best be defined as doing anything that has to be done that is not specifically assigned to anybody or whose designated employee is not available for any reason.  In other words, the pkak does any job that has to be done now but for which there is no person to do it.  Having once worked as a pkak, I can say with certainty that the job is varied and appreciated.  In baseball, he would be called a utility infielder.

I would be interested in hearing about other unique professional titles in any language.

All in the family

I recently attended a festive occasion arranged by my wife’s family.  They celebrated the aunt’s 90^th birthday, her daughter 60^th birthday and the birth of three grandchildren during that month.  The atmosphere was joyful, accented by homemade food, specially written poems and a presentation of the aunt’s rich life. Experiencing the gathering as an outsider, three major themes of Israeli family life stuck out, especially in comparison with too many American families.

First, all five of the aunt’s children attended and talked with each other.  In other words, whatever disagreements they may have, communication is maintained.  The willingness to forgive if not forget is typical of many if not most Israeli families. 

Second, three of the five children and many of the grandchildren lived close to the aunt.  Two of the daughters lived within walking distance.  From what I overheard, many of the grandchildren had lunch and did their homework with the grandparents.  Thus, the generational connection goes beyond formal bounds.  This binding of multiple generations leads to emotional connections.

Last, based on the stories that were told, the aunt and uncle did not buy their respect.  They did not have much money when they were raising their children.  However, they invested time and energy in their children, instilling them with their values and ambitions. These are not latch key children.  In the West, good parenting often seems to be equivalent to having a good income. The reality is truly quite different.

In short, I thoroughly enjoyed the good feeling of the birthday celebration. I admit that I felt some envy, not for the first time, watching the warm relations between the people there.  However, to make myself very clear, I heartfully wish them and everybody many such events.  They make life worth living until the age of 90, at least.

Summer Dreams and Nightmares

Students and teachers are often sure that the best season of the year is the summer. The former believe so because they can sleep late and not go to school while the latter get paid of doing nothing, at least in theory.  Yet, for some parents, summer vacation is a three month period of service as entertainment director, ATM and community police officer.  No wonder, most parents view September 1 as the real independence day.

Geography also plays a part in seasonal feelings.  Residents of countries in the far northern and southern hemispheres, such as the Scandinavian countries, as well as those with long rainy winters, notably Oregon and Washington where I lived, long for the bright sun of long summer days. Such people spend every possible minute outside soaking in the rays.  By contrast, in Israel, where I live now, and other hot places, the summer means that you can only be outside for a few hours in the morning and a few hours in the evening due to the grueling temperatures.  Like those suffering parents, we long for the coming of the autumn, when air conditioning and three showers a day are no longer necessary.

Sentiment regarding to the summer is also affected by one’s profession.  To work year round, a person would have to be both a ski instructor and life guard.  Farmers and hotels make hay in the summer, sometimes literally.  By contrast, all that coat and boot producers can do is hope for a cool fall and winter.  Firefighters must have similar feelings.

Age confuses the issue.  Almost nobody remembers being too hot as a child.  Whether this lack of recollection is because summers were less hot, people’s memory are short or kids don’t suffer from weather, I don’t know.  By contrast, the older we get, the more the temperature seems to affect us, both cold and heat.  This sensitivity is quite sad, but apparently unavoidable.

Finally, there are those for whom it makes no difference.  People with jobs in malls and offices exist in controlled temperatures whose work load is basically unaffected by the outside world.   This is the exact opposite of police in the street and construction people of any kind, who are intimate with their daily weather.

So, if beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, so is our perception of the summer.

Middle Eastern Languages

National languages seem like inevitable facts. The language of your country is like your dominant hand. You don’t choose it.  However, the modern Middle East shows how that seeming passiveness is an illusion.  Due to the area serving as a corridor between Asia, Europe and Africa, the Middle East has been host to countless empires, each imposing its own language.  To choose to speak a language different from your occupiers is a political statement.

Egypt, for example, was technically part of the Ottoman Empire for several centuries until World War I.  Its administrators were Turkish, often Kurds.  Thus, Turkish was the official language of communication in Egypt.  It was only in the 19^th century that a few intrepid Egyptians starting publishing newspapers in Arabic.  The Turks gave Arabic the same status as the French have given French Creole, a bastard language at best.  As part of the nationalist movement in Egypt, Arabic was used as a way of expressing Egyptian pride. So, the fact that Arabic is the official language of Egypt is an act of will.

That will is even more evident in the status of Hebrew in Israel.  Hebrew was a hibernating language for 2000 years, maintained only as in its written form.  Variants of Yiddish and Ladino were the lingua franca of Diaspora Jews in addition to the official language of the land.  The revival of Hebrew as an active language was an explicitly political act to create a Jewish identity and part of the overall program to create a Jewish state, a wild dream in the 19^th and early 20^th century.  The Turks, followed by the Brits, ruled this area until 1948, imposing their language for administrative purposes.  To learn and speak Hebrew in the 1920 and 1930’s was a statement of identity.  Later, the imposition of Hebrew became part of the plan of creation of the New Israeli (as compared to the Diaspora Jew),  a Jew whose cultural and linguistic past was cut off.  For practical purposes, to be Israeli meant and means that you try to speak Hebrew.  Accent and accuracy are irrelevant – listen how many of the Israeli’s early leaders spoke – as long as a person showed the intention to “fit in.” Still, the reality for the early generations of Israelis was quite different.  To demonstrate, in the Technion, there was a serious proposal to make German the language of instruction as most of the professors were German. Today, even Moslem, Christian and Druze Israeli, who daily language is Arabic, all speak Hebrew to the point that their Arabic has many Hebrew words inserted into it. The choice to make Hebrew the daily language was a conscious use of a language to establish identity, which was successful.

So, as people shape the physical world around them, they also influence their linguistic space.  There is nothing inevitable about it, especially in the Middle East.

Heads of state

An alien arriving on our planet would have a hard time understanding who the boss is in the countries of the world.  Titles and powers seem to have no consistency and are completely dependent on the country and year.

For example, the United Unites has a president and a vice president but no prime minister.  The president has all of the executive powers but delegates funeral visits in foreign countries to the vice-president, probably in application of the principle of out of sight, out of mind. Following the long reign of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, a president is limited to two terms of four years, i.e. eight years of power, which is much healthier for the president and the country.

By contrast, France has a president and a prime minister, but the president has all the powers and changes the prime minister like many women change their hair stylist.  After all, someone must be responsible for the high employment and taxes.  Designed for the larage ego of General de Gaulle, the term of the presidency is six years and limited to two times, i.e. 12 years, 50% more than in the U.S. As a result of this long exposure to toxic power, most French presidents start believing they are Napoleon.  At least, the French president does go to the funerals of foreign leaders, at least most of the time.

England has a prime minister and a royal figure, generally a queen in the last two centuries.  The former is the true political leader of the country while the latter mainly handles ceremonial details and provides sufficient material to the tabloids so that the government can do its business without undue interference from the media.  This system seems to be more stable than the opposite system used in many European countries until World War I whereby the royal figure had the power and the prime minister was a bit of an errand boy.  Granted, Bismarck and Metternich were rather efficient gofers for Prussia and Austria but that was not the rule.

Israel, like France, has a president and prime minister but has the opposite relation. The Prime Minister has the power while the president goes on fun trips abroad and entertains the foreign diplomats.  Alas, Israeli presidents in recent decades been very deficient in distracting media attention from the government.  On average, elections occur every two years or so.   On the other hand, Israel tends to stick with the same prime minister for many years.  Apparently, the devil you know is preferable. By contrast, the news generated by the presidents has been less than flattering to Israel.  From Ezer Weizman’s politically incorrect comments about various groups in society to Katzav’s conviction for rape, the situation has gone from bad to worse.  Fortunately, the current president is humorously irrelevant, a clear improvement.  At least, he says the right things.

The confusion gets really thick in Turkey and Russia, where there are presidents that used to be prime ministers. They both had to resign from the latter role because of constitutional terms limits and then got themselves elected as presidents.  The situation would be much simpler, if not better, if they just did like many African presidents, elect themselves for life.  That way, we all could now who really runs the show.

So, the variations in nomenclature for the 1^st citizen of a country are numerous and puzzling. For that matter, we humans seem to like it that way.  What difference does it make?  There are no visiting aliens anyway, right?

Wedding Season

Summer has arrived in Israel with all its attendant events.  These include summer camps, shopping in the mall, water parks and, gasp, weddings.  

The latter tend to bunch up in the summer months for several reasons.  First of all, Jews cannot get married from Pesach to Shevuot (except for Lag Veomer, but that is a long story), a period of seven weeks in the spring, and the three weeks before Tisha Be'av, which is in the summer. So, the Jewish couple wishing to get married looses almost two months, creating a bit of a log jam on the wedding halls.  Arabs, whether Moslem or Christian, do not get married in the winter.  The reasons for this are more practical than religious.  The wedding celebrations tend to be several days long and involve large amounts of people, requiring outside space.  Therefore, rain and cold wind would be a real downer to the event.  The result of these circumstances is that the average Israeli, even the not notably social ones, is invited to a series of weddings.

Attending them is not such a simple matter.  First of all, there is the matter of the size of the gift.  Several methods exist for determining it. The simplest, based on what the person can afford, is only allowed for those truly in financial need.  The modern system is to check any of many sites in which you enter in the important details, which will then inform you of the size of the proper gift.  The more traditional way, still quite prevalent, is to check the list recording the amount which that person given by the family of the bride or groom when your son or daughter got married. Whatever the method, it is clear that several summer weddings can wreak a lot of damage to the budget.

The guests also contribute time and sleep.  Weddings can be quite pricey, especially in large cities.  So, many younger couples search for more affordable wedding halls, often in very interesting locations.  These often involve a long drive over curvy, dark roads.  Adding in some rush hour traffic, getting to the wedding can easily involve two hours.  Even if the couple picks a convenient location for most of the invited friends and family, some unlucky guests will find themselves with a long drive because they live far away. You can’t please everybody, right?  Often the biggest cost is paid on the following day.  According to Judaism, there are no weddings on Shabbat (Friday evening to Saturday end of day).  At the same time, Sunday is a regular work day.  The consequence is that unless the wedding is on a Thursday night, all of the guests have to get up and go to work the next day.  What we do for our friends and family!

The wedding itself can be enjoyable or boring, depending on the individual circumstances.  Yet, certain negative effects are unavoidable, especially for us older folk.  The music will undoubtedly be too loud, often to the point of driving people to sit outside or even bring earplugs. A pleasant conversation without screaming is a dream.  Secondly, Jewish and Arab weddings must have a cornucopia of food. The guest with a limited appetite (especially at 9:00 in the evening or later) would easily have enough to eat with the initial buffet, generally quite excellent and varied in Israel.  Unfortunately, the initial appetizers are followed by fish, meat, vegetables, potatoes, rice, and copious salad, not to mention a parve (non-dairy) desert. It takes a strong will not to overeat. A summerful of such meals can be a weighty issue.  So, attending a wedding sometimes results in ringing in the ears, a hoarse voice and a feeling of being stuffed. 

Still, all this irrelevant since the only important point of a wedding is that the couple getting married have a good time, with all their family and friends to share their joy.

NB: I got married for the second time a year and a half ago in February (not summer) and celebrated with 20 friends and family in a nice restaurant in Zichron Ya’akov, with very low background music.  It was the best wedding I ever attended.

I do not like [green eggs and] ham

A recent report from Israel has hit the world press, confusing many readers: Israeli soldier arrested for eating a sandwich with pork.  A person unfamiliar with Middle Eastern culture would find this as absurd as a New Zealander being arrested for having a chicken salad lunch.  In fact, the act of eating pork in Israel, among other regional countries, in any form in public is a political statement with the incumbent risks.

Judaism is as much a way of life as a religion, meaning there are rules for every aspect of living from the most spiritual to the most banal.  An ultra religious Jew strives to follow every rule, quite a challenge. Most Jews in practice make choices, either out of knowledge or ignorance.  For example, a significant percentage of Jews in Israel will not eat a cheese burger because such an act would violate the ban on mixing meat and dairy in the same meal even if they do not go to synagogue.  Thus, a person’s choice of public behavior, at least, defines the level of acceptance of Judaism’s rules.

On the extreme end of accepted are the rules of Yom Kippur and pork.  Only a total anti-religious person would go play tennis on Yom Kippur (I had an uncle that did that, actually.) That choice does not reflect enjoyment of tennis but instead states a philosophical point of few, i.e. I view the rules as complete bubameisis (grandmother’s tales).  Similarly, pigs and pork are persona non grata in Israel, including by the Muslims and Druze.  The name of the meat is even camouflaged, referred to as “white meat.”  The only places that sell it are Russian and Christian Arab stores.  I recently discovered that many of my engineering students had never heard of the story The three pigs and the wolf.   Even Israelis that blatantly consume shrimps and cheeseburgers back down when it comes to bacon, occasionally surreptitiously tasting it abroad. The stigma is so strong that when Dr. Seuss’s book “Green Eggs and Ham” was translated in Hebrew, the ham was left out entirely (as were the green eggs), the title being instead  לא רעב ולא אוהב [lo ohev v lo ohev], meaning I am not hungry and I don’t like it.

So, only the most anti-religious or ignorant Israeli would not agree with Sam-I-Am.