Driving culture

 

[Man behind the wheel*]

It is said that our first 18 years have a lifetime impact. Our childhood affects the foods we enjoy, our approaches to life, the way we raise our children and even our career choices, to name a few. Granted, each of us over time accepts or rejects this heritage at any given time but it is present and impacts our life one way or another.

I recently became aware that it also influences how we drive. Simply put, I am a much better driver in the United States than in Israel. By better, I mean more natural and relaxed. In the United States, I sense the kind of stupidity to expect from the drivers around me. I know the expected pattern of speeding up and slowing down (except on Sunday when the “Sunday drivers” come out). I am confident in my ability to identify early and react to any situation. As a result, I am relaxed when I drive in the United States, especially on the West Coast, and find the driving experience neutral, i.e., neither pleasant nor unpleasant. By contrast, in Israel, I actively monitor all cars around me, expecting them to try to risk their life to reach the same red light 30 seconds before me. I am rarely disappointed. Although I still often sense what a given driver will do, I am less confident and more stressed. For me, a 45 minutes’ drive in Israel is not fun, to put it mildly.

Logically, that should not be so as I have driven in Israel for many more years than I did in the United States. I drove in the States for some 12 years regularly, getting my driver’s license at the age of 17 until I immigrated at the age of 28. Adding annuals trips over many years, I have driven on US roads for some 15 years at most. By contrast, I have lived in Israel some 32+ years, driving on a regular basis for a good part of that period. I am quite familiar with the roads and the drivers. They should be second-nature.

Of course, driving in the Mediterranean is Mediterranean is highly entertaining, at least for those that enjoy action. Whether in Spain, Italy, Tunisia or Israel, Mediterranean drivers own the road, literally. Other drivers are mere trespassers and really should not be there. Not only that, as elsewhere, phone calls and personal arguments are of greater priority than keeping with the flow. Still, the traffic flow around this middle sea does have a specific tempo that can be learned.

Clearly, high temperatures affect driver attitudes but only so much. As the mercury goes up, driver patience tends to go down and tempers rise. It does not take much to begin an argument between two drivers here. A sudden stop will suffice to create some interesting street action. The fact that all cars in Israel have had air conditioning since 1995 has not significantly mitigated the slaughter on the roads based on the annual numbers. Not only that, drivers from many other countries also suffer from high temperatures but still exhibit patience. The weather itself does not explain the difference.

It is possible that my driving culture was formed not only by actually time behind the wheel but in the surrounding seats. For some 16 years, I watched my parents and other people drive and the interaction between them. In a passive but embedding way, I “learned” how to drive, which I applied when I became an adult. As I came here at the age of 28, I did not receive that education. Thus, my comprehension of Israeli drivers is not instinctive. On the other hand, it may be just me. Other immigrants may have gone native with no problem. I confess to have done no research on this subject.

So, in my opinion, driving patterns are a cultural phenomenon. They are affected, as in all such matters, by both childhood and later life experience. I strongly affect that the former has more of an influence than people suspect.

* Caption pictures to help the blind access the Internet. Picture credit: Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/photos/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=1149997">Free-Photos</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=1149997">Pixabay</a>

Usual sights

Israel is a unique country in many ways, including typical behavior.  The following is a short list of rather commonplace phenomena that visitors might see in Israel that would surprise them but attract no notice by the locals.

Looking around, it becomes obvious, especially in certain cities, that Israelis love children.  It is not extraordinary to people out and about with four or more children in tow and a baby in hand.  The religious and Arab populations in particular tend to have large families but, in general, the more the merrier applies to children here, including two rounds of them in order to avoid empty nest syndrome. Also, numerous people, not just soldiers, pack guns openly here.  My father was rather shocked at the amount of weaponry among the guests at my first wedding.  I stopped noticing this long ago.  In terms of shopping, security guards and bag checks are routine and standard at every store and mall. Women automatically direct their bags for a check. As for fashion, due to a noticeable religious presence, some level of “modest” clothing is the norm.  In other words, a woman walking with her breasts exposed tends to attract much attention, most of negative.

Israelis in public tend to be quite friendly.  They routinely say shalom to people they meet, including strangers. Curiously, even non-religious Jews use Shabbat shalom in Friday and Saturday communication.  If someone needs directions, Israelis are very helpful if not always so knowledgeable. It is not an accident that Ways was invited by an Israeli.  He was probably tired of receiving incorrect directions. If someone collapses in an Israeli street, people drop everything and try to help.  The odds are that at least one of them is/was a medic or medical staff member. It is well known that Israelis are so happy or relieved to land safely (or return) that they often clap after the plane lands. This is a perfectly normal thing to do, right?

Alas, not everything is rosy. Israelis, like most people in the Mediterranean basin, tend to be aggressive drivers. Woe to the sleepy driver at light that turns green.  A sharp honk is quick to come. Also, the parking shortage in many Israeli cities brings out the worst of its hypertense residents as expressed in countless shouting matches for precious parking spots.  Age and gender have no impact on the ferocity of these territorial battles. On a more dangerous note, certain groups for ideological reasons periodically express their opposition to others by throwing rocks at passing vehicles.  The most notable perpetrators are the ultra-orthodox on holidays on any car that dare disturbs their peace, including ambulances sometimes, and radicalized Muslim Arabs, generally youth, that want to emphasize their non-Israeli identity by punishing cars with Israeli license plates.  Fortunately, this is not common but still somewhat expected at certain times of the year.

I wish to add a few words on behavior.  In terms of food, Israelis find it perfectly normal to eat vegetables for breakfast and a large lunch, not dinner. In terms of main dishes, alongside the usual carnivores, Israel has the highest percentage of vegans in the world, which is good news for travelling vegetarians. In terms of travel, due to the limited size of the country, even those who own cars often choose to travel to another city by bus if not train.  Intercity flights are generally not practical. Israelis, even those try to ignore it, are addicted to the news.  No news is truly good news here but unfortunately all too rare. Hebrew being of limited value outside of Israel and a few spots in the United States, Thailand and Turkey, just about all Israelis know English, albeit not quite as well as they think they do. They happily apply this language skill in helping stranded tourists and ordering items from the Internet.

Granted, some countries share part of these behaviors but Israel is still a unique experience for a visitor.

Irish addition by subtraction?

In continuation of last week’s post on Ireland, I feel obliged to mention what Ireland has few of, for better or worse.   Of course, I could be wrong about any of these points and confused the forest and trees. I am open to any correction.

Ireland has very few cats, pets or wild.  Neither in Dublin nor Galway did we see any cats in the streets or windows.  Apparently, something there, possibly the weather, discourages their procreation.  It certainly is not due to a lack of birds.

For that matter, Ireland lacks pests.  St. Patrick probably did not kick them out, but there are no native Irish snakes.  Furthermore, I didn’t see any cockroaches or mosquitoes either. The largest carnivore is a fox, not exactly a major threat to life. There are badgers but they apparently avoid the city and wreak only their havoc in the countryside. To be fair, midges can be problem at certain times but it is a much localized problem at that.

Curiously, with no connection to the previous paragraph, Ireland has few Israeli visitors. We were there some 12 days and did not meet a single Israeli.  I am not complaining but it was certainly surprising as Israelis are big travelers. I do not know the reason. It may the relatively high price or lack of Jewish roots in the Emerald island, but we could speak Hebrew freely without worry of being understood.

Continuing on the positive note, Irish food portions are respectable but not obscene. With no longer the appetite and capacity to burn calories that I had when I was in my 20’s, I appreciated getting up from Irish meals satisfied but not stuffed.  There was always room for the delicious dessert, which are also tasty but not copious. Less can be better.

While most people think driving on the left (not wrong) size of the road is very frightening, Irish road makers were very Scottish in their craft. The roads are so narrow. To my eye, the country roads are one way. However, somehow they serve two- way traffic, allowing even a bus and car to pass each other without damage.  I often thought of that scene in one of the Harry Potter movies in which the bus changes form in order not to hit a car. Those tight squeezes made me happy not to drive in Ireland. Phrased positively, Irish drivers are amazing.

Regarding subtraction, the politics of Ireland as expressed by the weather reports is quite fascinating. The Irish TV station always mentions the weather in Belfast and northern counties even though they are part of the UK. By the contrast, the BBC, including BBC Northern Ireland, steadfastly ignores the weather in the lower two thirds of the island, somewhat like the missing picture of the embarrassing aunt. By contrast, the Irish I spoke with rarely mentioned the British and their influence on Irish history. They were cryptically (sarcastically?) referred to as our English cousins.  The less said the better.

Finally, Irish (Gaelic) and Hebrew are both resurrected languages, effectively reborn for nationalistic reasons in the last century or so.  While in Israel the vast majority can and do use Hebrew in their daily lives, Irish is not widely spoken, only 16% of the population, mainly in rural areas, despite it being the first official language. My favorite Irish sound was the name of the Irish railroad, Iarnród Éireann. During our trip to and from Galway by train, we heard it at the end of every announcement, to my constant amusement. To an English ear, it sounds like here nor there, which is funny in the context of travel. In any case, I wish the Irish success in creating a true local national language.

To end my two-part Irish post, I heartily recommend a trip there. Come armed with a sense of humor and adventure. Both the country and its people are a bit wild in a positive way.

Be a man!

It is the nature of human societies to implant role models based on gender. In other words, through words, examples, media and unspoken expectations, boys and girls learn the practical functions and approaches needed to be an adult.  Of course, each family, subculture and era interprets these standards differently and modifies them as circumstances require. For example, the entry of women into the work force radically changed role models, partially wiping out those of previous generation. These expectations are expressed in numerous small scenes of daily life.  The gap between expectations and reality lead to quite humorous situations.

Money management is supposedly the realm of the male. As was common knowledge, women are too emotional to handle such an important matter.  Alas, men mismanage budgets at least as often as women.  Still, when talking to couples, many financial advisers assume that the male has the final word while the woman is there as a courtesy.  Being wrong on this point can lead to a very short conversation. The whole restaurant experience is still a bit macho for some.  It is the male that is supposed to call for restaurant and reserve the table. Lack of time and chivalry has really put cracks in that stereotype. At the restaurant, if one person orders a regular coke while the other a diet coke, the waiter will almost always serve the diet version to the woman as if men are never on diets or don’t care about sugar intake. When it comes time to pay the bill, it is obvious that the male will pay for it, right? Many women earn more money than their partners but don’t get any respect from the waiter.

Cars have been a male thing from day one. Men have all supposedly all the privileges and obligations attached to those machines. For example, according to the movies, men do the driving on vacation trips and going to those above mentioned restaurants, but not on shopping trips.  Yet, men tend to drink more and be more dangerous drivers even when not under the effect of alcohol.  Many women know this and immediately take the car key, generally without an argument. On the other side of the coin, when it comes to taking the car to the garage for repairs or changing the oil, everybody knows that boys are born with the knowledge to understand such matters.  In fact, the understanding of the workings of the car engine and, by extension, that the mechanic is inflating the bill is available to everybody, XX’s and XY’s. It is a matter of experience and desire to learn (which I don’t personally have but my wife does in this area).  We won’t even talk about the stereotypes regarding replacing a flat tire.

Men can ignore most household chores, including cleaning and cooking, but do so at their one peril.  On the other hand, society seems to expect the man of the house to justify his existence by doing all the house repairs even if it would be much faster and less expensive if his spouse did it or he called in a professional. Likewise, despite the fact that computer programming was invented by seven female math lecturers during World War II, men are supposed to have a natural ability to solve any computer issue, probably due to our legendary non-emotional nature.  The fact is that the larger muscle mass in males gives them no inherent advantage in trying to figure out what an alien message from the computer wants us to do. Yet, we have to try but are happy to pass on any woman that knows better.

I should mention one task that a man cannot avoid. When his daughter brings home a prospective husband, he must sit with him, preferably fortified by a beer (or two), and check the guy out. He fully knows that nothing he says will change his daughter’s mind but he has to go through the scene to ensure domestic tranquility, his. If there is one thing that a man needs, that is a domestic tranquility.

War culture

Part of the Israeli experience, unfortunately, is the going through these overly frequent periods of mass military operations as a civilian.  The British of World War II and the North Vietnamese of the 1970’s are quite familiar with the sensations of random violence from the air.  It creates, no pun intended, a heavy atmosphere for even the most banal activity, regardless if your town is subject to or spared from the missiles.  For purposes of context, I live in Karmiel in the northern part of Israel. In my 25 years here, I have experienced on a first hand basis missiles during the two Iraq wars and the Second Lebanese War, including helping young daughter get through this.  I admit that my somewhat limited exposures does not compare with those living in Sderot  in southern Israel or Kiriat Shmone in northern Israel, but does provide some intimate knowledge of the joy of rockets in air.  Also, as in all crises, reactions are individual, varying from person to person.

The randomness and helplessness of being a civilian creates several common phenomena.  First, using official and unofficial information, people creates their “rules of safe behavior”.  On one extreme, this can mean never leaving the safe room.  On the other extreme, some individuals assume that life and death are just a matter of luck and go everywhere since it makes no difference.  My attitude under fire was that, based on my analysis of the cases of actual death by missile, my home is my castle, i.e. stay inside as much as possible to be safe. I believe that I am correct, at least statistically.

For those that leave the apparent safety of their house, the next issue is what to do if you are “caught” by an alert while driving or doing shopping.  Yes, people do need to eat even during a war.  In the former, there are several attitudes.  I admit that I used to keep on driving, counting on the laws of probability to keep me safe.  In other words, I have much less chance of dying from a missile than I have from a car accident.   The home front department advises otherwise: pull over, get out of your car, and hit the dirt or, if possible, get near a wall, covering your head with your arms.  I don’t feel scared enough to do that, but it does make sense.  If out in the city running errands, some people first check where the nearest safe room or stair case is, similar to parents with small children checking where the bathroom is. The opposite reaction is quite “human”: turn on the Smartphone video and film the whole event.  Logically, it is probably the most dangerous way to react, but instinctively it takes over if a person believes in immortality and is not actually frightened by the rocket.

The last issue I will address is dealing with the tensions.  People release their tension through one or more of the following physical manners: mashing teeth (dentists are quite busy after the war), eating more or less than usual, talking about their fears or insisting that the endless tension has no effect on them, constantly or never watching the news, or playing video games, to name a few.  I know that this stress does leave a scar on a person’s psyche, but so do one’s parents and childhood years in general for that matter.

So, war is hell, but a personal hell for civilians.  It is also part of an Israeli’s identity, distinguishing him or her from most other people.  From time to time, people will list the “wars” they gone through.  Sadly, my list is getting longer and will probably expand in the future.  As that optimistic Israeli goes, we also get through that.

Hitting the Road

Driving, like eating, is a similar but unique experience in every part of the world.  Apart from the legal differences, i.e. making a right turn on a red light in Los Angeles, the pace and rhythm varies from country to country, often based on such factors as distances, density, kinds of roads, weather, and national character.  All together, it makes sitting behind the wheel a part of “feeling” the country no less than sitting on a chair in a café.

In the United States, a rather law abiding country despite all the TV shows to the contrary, most people actually follow the laws and are even polite.  Not only that, once you leave the crowded streets of the city, there is generally plenty of road for everybody.  Of course, there is a lot of space to cover, especially in the West where the states are much bigger.  For example, California from tip to tip is easily some 15 or more hours of continuous driving.   The meaning of this is driving in America, especially outside the cities, is actually quite pleasant.  Most roads are made for consistent high speeds (California highway 1 being an obvious exception).  The national tendency, outside New York City, of striving to be nice extends to the road.

Israel, well, is another story.  Israelis tend to tense and proud in all they do, including driving.  As for laws, they are merely suggestions for behavior, like at home.  Likewise, Israeli drivers tend to treat the road as if it is owned by their father, giving them extra privileges, such as not having to signal or let another car pass them.   As for red lights, time is money.  If you day dream for two seconds, you can be sure that the driver behind you already has his or her hand on the horn.  The speed limit and average pace on the road are often ignored, especially if you are less than 25 years of age. I live in the Galilee with a large Arab population.  Its driving style is quite interesting, generally too fast or too slow, with seat belts being a bit of a nuisance to the eight people in the car.  Sadly, the Arab population in Israeli suffers from a relatively high rate of accidents both to drivers and pedestrians.  If you are so unfortunate to find yourself in religious neighborhoods like Bnei Brak or many parts of Zefat, be very careful.  While it is clear that driving on the Sabbath may get you “rocked” in the wrong way, even on a normal day, the drivers and pedestrians alike travel in complete tranquility, oblivious to anybody else, apparently absolutely sure that God is protecting them.  On a good day, driving on Israel’s crowded roads in an interesting experience while on a bad day, you can imagine.

I would be interested in hearing other people’s description of driving in their country.