Passion fruit, gender wise

A passion is like first love, undeniable and unexplainable. It is something whose mere mention lights up the eyes and ignites a wide smile. A child without a passion is emotionally unhealthy while an unhealthy adult needs to find one. Objects of passion can be largely gender driven, for whatever reason, in the sense that 950 out of a thousand people of that gender and 50 people of the opposite gender share it, more or less. Clearly, there are special items of passion, small in numbers of passionatos but great in terms of their intensively, like those who love restoring windmills (yes, such groups exist) and collectors of specific animal figurines.  At the same time, there are universal items that mainly light up either men or women.

For example, most women love desserts with cream.  Men do enjoy such desserts but they don’t go starry eyed. It appears that women get adrenalin rushes just from seeing them. Whether a mille feuilles or cheese cake, the more cream, whipped or not, the better. Big boned or petite, there is always room in the heart of a woman, not to mention her stomach, for a tasty creamy patisserie. It is unclear why a dainty slice of cake is irresistible but a no less creamy ice cream is not but the latter can be ignored while for the former must be worshipped, at least as far as I have observed. Call it hypnotic or whatever you like.

The male equivalent of love at first sight is the simple ball.  Even before there is peer or parental example or pressure, upon seeing a ball of any size, 98% of boys react by wanting to interact with it in some way, kicking, holding or hitting it to the best of their ability. Tellingly, this instinct never dies.  80-year-old men, encountering a stray ball rolling in their direction, immediately line by their body for a proper corner kick even if, alas, the body (and kick) are suffering from not a little rust. No matter, no male can ignore a ball even if the fact that he is wearing a suit and tie prevents him from acting on the urge. I can’t think of any evolutionary benefit to this instinct but not everything has to have a purpose, right?

In terms of transportation or fascination, shoes seem to have a hypnotic effect on women.  Regardless of the number of shoes they may or may not have, almost no woman can resist looking at the shoes displayed in a store window. Since I cannot read minds especially those of the opposite sex, I have no idea what exactly they are thinking as they examine the pairs.  However, it cannot be denied Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley and Johnny Debb together on their best days are no competition for a pair of leather boots. I imagine that there are women that are apathic to footwear, but I have not met any.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OT4jGJdAf6s

By contrast, men, especially American men, have had a long romance with cars. I don’t know how they reacted to their horses before automobiles were invented but I do know how most men (not me in this case) relate to their car: they anthropophyte it. Specifically, they select their vehicle with great care, comparing all relevant and irrelevant features. This is contrast with most women, who primarily care about its color, safety and gas efficiency. They maintain, clean and protect it religiously and are personally wounded if the love of their life is scratched at a parking lot. In secret, they look at advertisements and videos of coming models and dream of owning a Ferrari or Lamborghini. That such diamonds are far beyond their means does not reduce their pleasure as the mere thought of driving one is a high while an actual chance to drive one of those gods is better than sex. This love of cars, the more powerful the better (it takes a bit of effort to get excited by a Fiat Uno), could be just part of a power addiction but what difference does it make.

Please do not misunderstand me.  I am not mocking the human species. As I wrote above, it is far better to have a passion, no matter how ridiculous, than to lead a humdrum life without sparkle.  My personal passion, I confess, is Balkan dancing. The sound of a triti piti or kopenica make me forget any worry that I have. However, I also admit to enjoy playing tennis maybe because there is, yes, a ball involved and trying to sound more knowledgeable about cars than I really am because I am supposed to be. However, cakes and shoes are fine but no more than that. In any case, vive la passion.

Carful Stars

Cars are also a means of transportation, meaning that some people mainly regard them as signs of status.  If anybody is sensitive to status, it is a TV star.  So, it is interesting to look some famous TV couples, i.e. human and vehicle.

My favorite tandems are in the travel/cooking field.  The world’s sexiest (from my point of view) tour guide is France’s Julie Andrieu of Les Carnets de Julie. She speeds around the hills and dales of France in a small red Citroen 304.  Being a two-seater and very low based, it is entirely impractical but so are high heels. Who cares?  It’s the style that counts.  Her male counterpart is Guy Fieri of Diners, Drive-ins and Dives fame. He also gets around in a red sports car, a Camaro in his case. Not being female, I cannot say if his vehicle adds anything to his aura but I imagine it works for some people.

Of course, the marriage between stars and cars predates these food shows. Detectives are often identified by their wheels. What would have Miami Vice been without a fancy Ferrari or the more recent CSI Miami without its Lamborghini? On the other side of the lake, Inspector Morse motors around in slightly more understated manner, appropriately for the English, sporting a red Jaguar. On the blue collar side of the road, the famous shlumper Columbo maintained his image with a beaten up greenish Citroen 403. Likewise, the cynical Ironside of San Francisco got around the hilly city in a 1940 Paddy Wagon and always found parking for it, not to mention spare parts.

To update and paraphrase Descartes, in TV at least, I drive therefore I am.  

Be a man!

It is the nature of human societies to implant role models based on gender. In other words, through words, examples, media and unspoken expectations, boys and girls learn the practical functions and approaches needed to be an adult.  Of course, each family, subculture and era interprets these standards differently and modifies them as circumstances require. For example, the entry of women into the work force radically changed role models, partially wiping out those of previous generation. These expectations are expressed in numerous small scenes of daily life.  The gap between expectations and reality lead to quite humorous situations.

Money management is supposedly the realm of the male. As was common knowledge, women are too emotional to handle such an important matter.  Alas, men mismanage budgets at least as often as women.  Still, when talking to couples, many financial advisers assume that the male has the final word while the woman is there as a courtesy.  Being wrong on this point can lead to a very short conversation. The whole restaurant experience is still a bit macho for some.  It is the male that is supposed to call for restaurant and reserve the table. Lack of time and chivalry has really put cracks in that stereotype. At the restaurant, if one person orders a regular coke while the other a diet coke, the waiter will almost always serve the diet version to the woman as if men are never on diets or don’t care about sugar intake. When it comes time to pay the bill, it is obvious that the male will pay for it, right? Many women earn more money than their partners but don’t get any respect from the waiter.

Cars have been a male thing from day one. Men have all supposedly all the privileges and obligations attached to those machines. For example, according to the movies, men do the driving on vacation trips and going to those above mentioned restaurants, but not on shopping trips.  Yet, men tend to drink more and be more dangerous drivers even when not under the effect of alcohol.  Many women know this and immediately take the car key, generally without an argument. On the other side of the coin, when it comes to taking the car to the garage for repairs or changing the oil, everybody knows that boys are born with the knowledge to understand such matters.  In fact, the understanding of the workings of the car engine and, by extension, that the mechanic is inflating the bill is available to everybody, XX’s and XY’s. It is a matter of experience and desire to learn (which I don’t personally have but my wife does in this area).  We won’t even talk about the stereotypes regarding replacing a flat tire.

Men can ignore most household chores, including cleaning and cooking, but do so at their one peril.  On the other hand, society seems to expect the man of the house to justify his existence by doing all the house repairs even if it would be much faster and less expensive if his spouse did it or he called in a professional. Likewise, despite the fact that computer programming was invented by seven female math lecturers during World War II, men are supposed to have a natural ability to solve any computer issue, probably due to our legendary non-emotional nature.  The fact is that the larger muscle mass in males gives them no inherent advantage in trying to figure out what an alien message from the computer wants us to do. Yet, we have to try but are happy to pass on any woman that knows better.

I should mention one task that a man cannot avoid. When his daughter brings home a prospective husband, he must sit with him, preferably fortified by a beer (or two), and check the guy out. He fully knows that nothing he says will change his daughter’s mind but he has to go through the scene to ensure domestic tranquility, his. If there is one thing that a man needs, that is a domestic tranquility.