Relatively rude – International communication

 

[Tower of Babel*]

The world may be becoming a global village but each of us has our own native language and culture. This tower of Babel, now just as then, creates infinite possibilities for misunderstanding, especially when negative emotions are expressed. For example, the line between acceptable annoyance and unacceptable anger is cultural and subject to interpretation. The manner in which people express these feelings vary by culture and even subculture, a factor to be taken into account when interpreting communication, especially written, and sending messages.

Each culture, however defined, has created its norms for the acceptable manner of expressing dissatisfaction beyond which the message is considered too angry and personal for business communication. Two factors in this framing are directness and registry. The Mediterranean and China are known for their direct approach in terms of syntax. “You have not paid me” is not considered rude but a fact, however unpleasant. Other regions insist on a more indirect, objective approach that would be laughed at by direct cultures. “I have no record of payment” sounds much less accusatory and more professional than the direct accusation to an American or Brit even though the message is the same. Not every country appreciates straight-to-the-point communication

Register also is a factor. For example, the form of the second person pronoun or lack thereof is part of the message. For example, the choice of the informal you (e.g., tu in French and du in German) would create a very negative reaction as compared to the vous and Sie, respectively. Likewise, Japanese business culture requires frequent use of honorific particles. The use of titles such as Mr. or Mrs. is obligatory in many cultures but even insulting in other ones. For example, in Israel, women under the age of 60 do not appreciate being referred to as “Mrs. So and So” as it that implies she is old. On the other hand, I sort of enjoy being called Mr. Rifkind in the United States even if I subconsciously look if my late father is near me as it means that I am receiving respect. In written communication, this formality is expressed in the closing. For instance, proper English letters should end in yours truly, yours sincerely or respectfully yours regardless how untruthful, insincere or disrespectful the letter is. Similarly, all formal French letter end in “Veuillez agréer l'expression de mes sentiments distingués”, be assured of the expression of my distinguished sentiments in English, even if the writer is threatening to send the receiver of the letter to jail. Noblesse oblige. As long as the rules of syntax and formality are followed, the message can sometimes avoid being rude but merely be highly unpleasant.

For the receiver of emails and memos from other culture, this variety of approaches means careful consideration of the form as well as the message in order to ascertain the actual emotional subcontext. For example, the sentence “I found many errors in your work” implies varying degrees of dissatisfaction. If an Israel or Spaniard writes this, it is probable that the receiving party will have an opportunity to re-establish trust. By contrast, this same line from an English or German would probably mean the end of the business relationship. On the other end of the scale, the sentence “we would appreciate delivery in the near future” coming from a UK agency is not a polite request but an order. It is an error to base interpretation of the message on the culture of the receiver as that of the sender is the determining factor.

It should be noted that most users (including writers) of English worldwide have a different native language, meaning they did not grow up in an Anglo-Saxon country. Their level of mastery of English and awareness of culture differences thus varies greatly. Adding to the confusion is the fact that the name of a person provides no clue to where they were born. Just because the first or last name may “sound” Spanish or Asian, for example, does not have any significance of their mastery of a language or cultural norms. As a result of this linguistic shuffling of the cards, it is a good policy to allow for cultural confusion in interpreting communication. In practice, the person writing the message may have no idea that their form of expression is rude. The worldwide village demands some tolerance to operate properly.

As for creating communication, business people must attempt to take into consideration the cultural background of the receiving party, if possible. The purpose of communication is to attain a goal, which generally does not include insulting the person or getting them angry. Therefore, it is advisable to apply some indirectness where appropriate, i.e., discuss facts, not personal intentions. For example, I would appreciate payment within seven days works much better than Pay me within seven days, especially if a hefty arrears interest is then mentioned. The message gets across. Likewise, it is important to always begin correspondence with a proper salutation and closing and maintain language-appropriate formality. The French are genius at polite nastiness. Let your words attain your goal without interference from your form. When in doubt, consult with an expert. Clear communication is a key for solid results.

Doing business worldwide not only requires language skills but also cultural awareness. Faced with the need to communicate effectively with someone on the other side of the world, geographically or culturally, business people struggle to express what they mean and understandably so. After all, “Isn’t that rude?” is in fact a very complicated and important question.

* Always label your pictures to allow the blind access to your posts.

Pictures: Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/gdj-1086657/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=5771062">Gordon Johnson</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com/?utm_source=link-attribution&amp;utm_medium=referral&amp;utm_campaign=image&amp;utm_content=5771062">Pixabay</a>

Foreign tolerance

                                                          
                                                            [Picture of Oliver Cromwell*]

For every native-speaker of English, there are around four non-native speakers. This means 80% of English users not only have imperfect knowledge of English grammar and spelling but how to express tone. In other words, of increasing importance due to social media, most are not familiar with the manner in which it is possible to express ideas without sounding rude or aggressive. In this regard, it is important to understand that each language has its own acceptable style of written expression, which may sound ridiculous or rude when translating literally.

Two extremes are French and Hebrew. French is a flowery language arising from a culture that highly values formal politeness.  Some beautiful phrases found common in French correspondence of all kinds include: nous avons l’honneuer de …  [we have the honor of], je suis dans l’obligation [I am in the obligation of], en vous addressant mes meilleurs voeux de succes [in sending my best wishes of success], and je me permits d’attirer votre attention [I allow myself to bring it to your attention], even when the the content does not reflect such thoughts. By contrast, Israeli society and the Hebrew language are quite direct, if not blunt, which is reflected in the written language. For example, Hebrew generally avoids use of such fillers as please in  sentences and how are you doing at the beginning of emails. Since, its syntax generally follows the subject-verb-object order and the language has often has few synonyms, the message is to the point. Its tendency to call a spade a spade is the polar opposite of the French indirect style.

English is a direct language in terms of sentence syntax but developed in a class society that valued politeness. In practical terms, the polish in English correspondence is added through doubt, understatement and vagueness, among others. To avoid putting people in uncomfortable corners, English has many phrases to allow for error, at least in form. These include to the best of my knowledge, as far as I can know, it appears that and I have received information that. These words avoid direct accusation. Another technique, typically British, is reducing the severity of the term, sometimes to the point of sarcasm. For instance, your services did not meet my satisfaction means that the contractor’s worker was awful while I find it regretful often expresses great anger. When it would be too confrontational to formally mention a painful matter, native English speakers prefer vague terms. Some examples include please advise, payment issues, contractual obligations and resolving the issue. Using these techniques, English correspondence loses its uncomfortable aggressiveness at least as far as native speakers are concerned.

However, most users of English are neither native speakers nor advanced students of English in terms of formal studies or living in an English-speaking country. At the same time, they increasingly are active in international writing, especially in social media and email. Their language is generally understandable in terms of content but sometimes creates misunderstanding in terms of tone. Specifically, the writer may have intended the greatest respect but the reader, especially a native English speaker, may forget that the writer does not share a common culture and interpret a comment as rude, even insulting, or bloated This communication gap can create avoidable communication barriers.

In terms of implications, it is clear that non-native English-speaking professionals that actively use email and social media should seek guidance on the matter to ensure that they transmit their true message. For example, my wife, an Israeli, occasionally consults me in regards to sensitive email to make sure that the underlying message is effectively expressed. On a greater scale, when reading and reacting to various comments in social media, especially Facebook, it is important to consider the background of the writers. If they are non-native English speakers writing in English, however correct that English may be, they may be entirely unaware of English writing conventions and, consequently, how insulting their comments sounded to a native English speaker. Accordingly, we native speakers must be patient with foreigners not only because they are the majority but also because the vast majority have limited knowledge of English. I hope for the same when I write in French or Hebrew. As Cromwell would say, tolerance is the basis for a civil society.

* For the sake of the blind, do not forget to caption your pictures. Picture taken from wikipedia site.