People gathering – similar but different

 

[herd of zebras*]

One of the most interesting aspects of visiting a zoo is the observation of how apparently similar species behave so differently. For example, the closest genetic relatives of homo sapiens are chimpanzees and bonobo apes. Regardless of their common heritage, their means of social communication are opposite with chimpanzees often using pseudo and real violence to resolve conflicts while bonobo apes generally having sex to defuse tensions. Likewise, when visiting and especially living in a different culture, it is fascinating to see how others handle social situations. Some examples are the use of alcohol as a social lubricant, family get-togethers and weddings.

[grapes on the vine]

Alcohol is the starter fluid for conversation in many cultures. In the United States, the host greeting guests at the door sometimes even asks “do you want a beer” before saying hello. In many northern Europe countries, no party is complete without beer, vodka or the local liver poison. In France, the wine is the local version of English weather in terms of conversation. Picking a bad wine is almost as serious a faux pas as wearing mismatched colors. Curiously, in Israel, at least until recently, alcohol was not only marginal for social contact but even unnecessary. The younger generation clearly drinks more but still does not require alcohol to have fun, at least if the revelers were born in the country. In Muslim countries, alcohol is even forbidden. So, fermentation and distillation are clearly linked with sociability in some but not all societies.

[family of elephants]

The concept of family encapsules many forms. In some places, notably much of the United States, the family is the nuclear group, with the children leaving home and often even the same city forever once they become adults. Thus, many families only see each other on holidays. In other places, families including multiple generations live with or near each other and share each other’s tables on a regular basis. In Israel, a small country, in many Jewish homes, the extended family dines together every Friday or Saturday. In Arab houses, the children may actually live in the same house on a different floor with household expenses shared by all residents. I suppose this closeness is a blessing for older people but can be a curse for the daughters-in-law, who have to tolerate the domination of the mother-in-law. Clearly, the importance of family togetherness varies from culture to culture.

[wedding table]

Weddings are the ultimate social gathering, combining multiple and occasionally contradictory purposes. Weddings are to celebrate a marriage, balance accounts and make social statements. As such, the size of a wedding and choice of guests is a complex matter. In England or the United States, a wedding with 200 guests is a large affair, appropriate for major public and financial families. By contrast, 200 guests in Israel is sign of a low budget or corona as it would require limiting the list to absolutely closest family and a few friends, not a diplomatic act. In at least one culture, the hosts actually open the envelopes in front of the guests and announce the amount of the gift, a sort of financial transparency.  On a personal note, as it was the 2^nd round for my wife and I, we had no social debts and chose to celebrate with an “intimate” dinner with 20 people at a restaurant. Each culture has its own “correct” way to celebrate a marriage, with small changes are fashions come and go.

[stars in the sky]

We are all human beings but somehow there are so many different ways of social expression. From a distance, they may appear similar, like the stars in the sky, but each culture is unique. Vive la difference.

* Picture captions help the blind fully access the Internet.

Pictures credits: pixabay