People gathering – similar but different

 

[herd of zebras*]

One of the most interesting aspects of visiting a zoo is the observation of how apparently similar species behave so differently. For example, the closest genetic relatives of homo sapiens are chimpanzees and bonobo apes. Regardless of their common heritage, their means of social communication are opposite with chimpanzees often using pseudo and real violence to resolve conflicts while bonobo apes generally having sex to defuse tensions. Likewise, when visiting and especially living in a different culture, it is fascinating to see how others handle social situations. Some examples are the use of alcohol as a social lubricant, family get-togethers and weddings.

[grapes on the vine]

Alcohol is the starter fluid for conversation in many cultures. In the United States, the host greeting guests at the door sometimes even asks “do you want a beer” before saying hello. In many northern Europe countries, no party is complete without beer, vodka or the local liver poison. In France, the wine is the local version of English weather in terms of conversation. Picking a bad wine is almost as serious a faux pas as wearing mismatched colors. Curiously, in Israel, at least until recently, alcohol was not only marginal for social contact but even unnecessary. The younger generation clearly drinks more but still does not require alcohol to have fun, at least if the revelers were born in the country. In Muslim countries, alcohol is even forbidden. So, fermentation and distillation are clearly linked with sociability in some but not all societies.

[family of elephants]

The concept of family encapsules many forms. In some places, notably much of the United States, the family is the nuclear group, with the children leaving home and often even the same city forever once they become adults. Thus, many families only see each other on holidays. In other places, families including multiple generations live with or near each other and share each other’s tables on a regular basis. In Israel, a small country, in many Jewish homes, the extended family dines together every Friday or Saturday. In Arab houses, the children may actually live in the same house on a different floor with household expenses shared by all residents. I suppose this closeness is a blessing for older people but can be a curse for the daughters-in-law, who have to tolerate the domination of the mother-in-law. Clearly, the importance of family togetherness varies from culture to culture.

[wedding table]

Weddings are the ultimate social gathering, combining multiple and occasionally contradictory purposes. Weddings are to celebrate a marriage, balance accounts and make social statements. As such, the size of a wedding and choice of guests is a complex matter. In England or the United States, a wedding with 200 guests is a large affair, appropriate for major public and financial families. By contrast, 200 guests in Israel is sign of a low budget or corona as it would require limiting the list to absolutely closest family and a few friends, not a diplomatic act. In at least one culture, the hosts actually open the envelopes in front of the guests and announce the amount of the gift, a sort of financial transparency.  On a personal note, as it was the 2^nd round for my wife and I, we had no social debts and chose to celebrate with an “intimate” dinner with 20 people at a restaurant. Each culture has its own “correct” way to celebrate a marriage, with small changes are fashions come and go.

[stars in the sky]

We are all human beings but somehow there are so many different ways of social expression. From a distance, they may appear similar, like the stars in the sky, but each culture is unique. Vive la difference.

* Picture captions help the blind fully access the Internet.

Pictures credits: pixabay

You are what you drink – In Israel

Society can be differentiated by a variety of factors.  In Israel, by knowing what a person drinks, you can often guess their socio-economic status.

Jews in the Diaspora were more known for their hard work more than drinking, even in heavy-drinking countries like Russia.  This tendency shows in older Israelis, over 55, who spent most of their lives in Israel, meaning not including the last batch of immigrants from the former Soviet Union.  For example, I was recently at a Bar Mitzvah brunch.  I noticed an interesting cause and effect: most of the adults were “aunts and uncles”, i.e. over the age of 55; there was no beer or wine on the table.  Curiously, nobody seemed to care or even request any.  For many people of this background, the only alcohol they regularly drink is sweet wine on the Sabbath. Alcohol is not part of their social way of life.

Younger, non-religious Israeli-born adults between the ages of 30-55 do drink alcohol occasionally.  The aspiring upper-class often orders wine and beer at restaurants and serves them at parties with friends.  To be fair, Israeli wine is quite good, with good soil and no shortage of sun here, but can be quite expensive relative to income.  The middle class tends to order beer.  Israeli beer, Maccabi and Goldstar, are quite good lagers, better than most American beers but slightly inferior to the top European brews.  The draft version is rather refreshing after a set of tennis or a hot day hiking.  More traditional Israelis enjoy Arak, an Ouzo-like, anise-based clear liquor or a traditional whiskey. 

The large Russian immigration of the 1990’s brought a love of vodka to Israel.  Initially, only the immigrants themselves partook of it.  However, today almost every non-religious Israeli under the age of 30, male or female, drinks vodka, now available in every food and beverage store, including candy stores!  For these people, liquor is becoming a requirement at any social occasion.  Going to a pub has become a way of entertainment, like in Europe or the United States. 

So, as Israeli society is evolving, so are its consumption habits.  There are marked differences in what people drink depending on their age and status.  To paraphrase a French expression, cherchez la boisson.