Degrees of discomfort – Tests of tolerance

I define myself as a liberal, tolerant person and a secular Jew.  I did not grow up in a religious family or in Israel. Yet, having lived in Israel for more than 26 years, I have become acquainted with many religious people, especially my wife's family, who accept me completely. Living in the Galilee, I teach as well as work and interact with many local Arabs, both Christian and Muslim, and have visited many Druze houses.  So, the terms "religious Jew" and "Arab" represent real people to me.

Recently, I experienced two "challenging" situation in terms of my self-definition as a liberal. Several weeks ago, on the train from Ben Gurion Airport to Acco after a long flight from California, a group of five Arab college students entered the train, filled with enthusiasm and energy. After 20 plus hours, my wife and I wanted some peace and quiet but did not get any. The students talked loudly, told jokes and made comments about a series of videos on their phones, all in Arabic.  We could not conveniently go to another carriage as our luggage was on the rack there. To clarify, they were not behaving badly but instead boisterously. After being asked to lower the volume a bit, they tried but were simply unable.

During the hour we shared that carriage, I considered the reasons for my annoyance. Was it the level of noise on my already frayed nerves? Was it the sheer energy level when I wanted serenity?  Was it the fact that they were loudly speaking Arabic? In other words, if a similar group of Hebrew speaking students had entered, would I have been equally disturbed? After careful thought, I had to admit that the third issue was also a factor. It somehow bothered that they were so loud in a foreign language and Arabic at that.  I then considered the issue and realized that, while it may annoy me at this moment, the Arabic language was a matter of their cultural identification and, moreover, national pride for Israel, which allows its minorities to feel sufficiently comfortable to express themselves openly in their own language, even in public.

Last week, I visited a religious family in mourning.  The deceased having left behind many siblings and children as well as a husband, the apartment was packed with people with almost everybody wearing a kippa or head covering. I did my best to blend in and looked for a conversation to participate in or at least listen with interest. In fact, everybody, young and old, was talking about the manner of the upcoming Yom Kippur prayers in all their aspects. More strikingly, they were discussing such matters with great joy and interest.  This attitude ignited the question that generally pops up in my mind when seeing religious conversations: why do you waste so much time and energy on such irrelevant matters? Of course, the question presupposes that my secular way of thinking is correct as compared to the "brainwashing" religious people get. In all probability, they considered my lack of interest in Torah equally errant. In such cases, I remind myself that the world is made of many faiths, no matter how ridiculous I may consider them.

The cultural gap between me as a Jewish atheist and them is as least as great as I felt on the train. The latter is easier to bridge as I consciously recognize the legitimacy of cultural self-expression.  On the other hand, my inability to grasp the faith base of religious people makes it harder to maintain my tolerance. Marx wrote that religion is the opium of the people.  Accepting the right of people to take opium creates much discomfort.

I do not like [green eggs and] ham

A recent report from Israel has hit the world press, confusing many readers: Israeli soldier arrested for eating a sandwich with pork.  A person unfamiliar with Middle Eastern culture would find this as absurd as a New Zealander being arrested for having a chicken salad lunch.  In fact, the act of eating pork in Israel, among other regional countries, in any form in public is a political statement with the incumbent risks.

Judaism is as much a way of life as a religion, meaning there are rules for every aspect of living from the most spiritual to the most banal.  An ultra religious Jew strives to follow every rule, quite a challenge. Most Jews in practice make choices, either out of knowledge or ignorance.  For example, a significant percentage of Jews in Israel will not eat a cheese burger because such an act would violate the ban on mixing meat and dairy in the same meal even if they do not go to synagogue.  Thus, a person’s choice of public behavior, at least, defines the level of acceptance of Judaism’s rules.

On the extreme end of accepted are the rules of Yom Kippur and pork.  Only a total anti-religious person would go play tennis on Yom Kippur (I had an uncle that did that, actually.) That choice does not reflect enjoyment of tennis but instead states a philosophical point of few, i.e. I view the rules as complete bubameisis (grandmother’s tales).  Similarly, pigs and pork are persona non grata in Israel, including by the Muslims and Druze.  The name of the meat is even camouflaged, referred to as “white meat.”  The only places that sell it are Russian and Christian Arab stores.  I recently discovered that many of my engineering students had never heard of the story The three pigs and the wolf.   Even Israelis that blatantly consume shrimps and cheeseburgers back down when it comes to bacon, occasionally surreptitiously tasting it abroad. The stigma is so strong that when Dr. Seuss’s book “Green Eggs and Ham” was translated in Hebrew, the ham was left out entirely (as were the green eggs), the title being instead  לא רעב ולא אוהב [lo ohev v lo ohev], meaning I am not hungry and I don’t like it.

So, only the most anti-religious or ignorant Israeli would not agree with Sam-I-Am.

September Dreaming

As the first of September approaches, young and old cannot feel neutral about the new moon.  The actual events of the month differ from place to place but it cannot be denied that change is acoming, to paraphrase Bob Dylan.

In the United States, Labor Day marks the official end of the summer.  After this holiday, salvation or hell is coming, depending on which side of the parent-child duo you are, as students of all ages go back to school.  It also means the approaching end of the summer heat, to be replaced by the cool but pleasant weather of the fall.  Hikers and garden owners will soon get to experience the changing of colors of the leaves and their covering on the ground, albeit with different reactions, at least in the Northeast and Northwest.  Another result of the change of weather is the opportunity to wear the beloved sweater that has been buried, undesired, in the closet for many months.  For those who bought new boots on sale at the end of the last season, it is now time to show them off.  In the Pacific Northwest at least, the hunters and fishermen start planning their “campaigns”.  Most of this is in the future, but anticipation is biggest part of pleasure. In terms of spectator sports, (American) football fans fully wake up from their hibernation, with everybody allowed, for the moment, the illusion that his or her team really can win the Super Bowl.  By contrast, baseball fans go to completely meaningful or meaningless games, depending on the standings.

In Israel, September, the Hebrew months of Alul and Tishrei, it is also a time of change.  Like in the United States, children from nursery school to high school start the school year.  However, most curiously, this is only a dress rehearsal for the school year since once the “holidays” hit, i.e. Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot, they get another extended vacation.  Because the Jewish calendar is lunar, the actual Gregorian date, but not the Hebrew day, of the holidays wanders a bit, with Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year, occurring somewhere between early to late September.  This is quite meaningful for university students since university studies, logically in my mind, begin after Sukkot, meaning sometime between the end of September to close to the end of October.  This year for example, it begins on October 26 at the college where I work.  In terms of the weather, September brings with it the infamous “hamsin”, 50 in Arabic, referring to those horrible hot eastern desert winds that take your breath away.  By law or tradition, on Yom Kippur, a day of avoiding intake of food and beverages, it must be hot and miserable to add to the suffering. Those of faith would say this suffering brings you closer to God.  Curiously, it is also tradition, clearly not as dependable, that it must rain on Sukkot.  I regret to say that the last year’s Sukkot shower only succeeded in getting everything wet but failed to secure a good rainfall for the winter.  Religious people invest in mitzvot, good deeds, like taxpayers invest in December, since their fate for the upcoming year is in the balance until Yom Kippur.  By contrast, non-religious people merely worry about surviving the numerous family feasts and the cost of keeping the children busy during Sukkot. In regards to getting out those winter clothes, there are at least two months to wait.  As Tom Jones might say, change is the air.

So, September is the transition month from summer to fall.  If you have any local September traditions, I would love to hear about them.

You know it is a Jewish holiday when…..

Compared to most religions, Judaism has a large number of holidays, albeit not equally distributed during the year.  Each holiday has its script and rules, which are sometimes rather complicated even for observant Jews to understand.  In fact, practicing Jews spend an inordinate amount of time discussing what is allowed and forbidden on these occasions. 

An interesting aspect of these holidays is the unwritten rules that have become part of them even if no mention of them can be found in any religious book.  For non-religious Jews, they may much more significant to the holiday than the formal practices.  Here is a short list of how to identify the various Jewish holidays in Israel:

Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year): the search for tasty apples to serve with the honey.  This is often accompanied by comments such as “When I was a kid, apples were really tasty.  Today, they are like plastic.”

Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement): Riding bicycles.  Since even non-religious Jews avoid driving on this day, children take over the streets, riding their bicycles all over the town without any fear, which is paradoxically the source of the packed emergency rooms in hospitals in Israel on that day.

Sukkot: the collection of children’s artwork.  Since families like to decorate the walls of the sukka, the temporary shelter symbolic of the holiday, the various scribbles and attempts at artwork by the children and grandchildren are encouraged and greedily taken for use as decorations.  To be clear, the children are more than pleased to cooperate.

Hanukah: smell of levivot (potato pancakes) and sufganiot (doughnuts).  It is a tradition to prepare these two dishes at least once during the holiday.  People generally unsuccessfully avoid the latter as not being worth the calories, but levivot are always tasty, if not very low-calorie.  On the other hand, who diets during a holiday?  In any case, Israelis use much cooking oil during this holiday.

Purim: children smoking cigarettes.  This holiday involves putting on costumes and acting out.  The tradition is the children can get away with anything but murder on this day.  So, many children in religious families, even younger ones, smoke cigarettes openly. 

Pesach: spring cleaning.  The rules only require removal of hametz, leavened bread products, from the house.  However, many families, even non-religious ones, conduct a thorough cleaning of the house, including windows and shelves, often beginning a month beforehand.  Of course, there is always some nice desert wind which comes around and gets the windows all dirty again, but it is the effort that counts, right?

Log Baomer: collecting wood in shopping carts.  Most Israelis, especially those with children, participate in mass bonfire parties.  However, first the kids, of all ages, have to collect the wood. Potatoes and hotdogs are the standard fare, but some go much fancier.  On the bright side, it is a chance to talk with the neighbors and meet the parents of the other kids (funny how the parent acts and looks the son or daughter).  On a less charming note, the pollution level jumps sky high with some children learning the hard way about “the burnt child dreads the fire.”

Shavuot: water fights. This holiday is supposedly a harvest festival.  The younger generation seems to think it is an open invitation to get other people wet.  I have no idea why and wish it was not so.

Tisha be Av: no restaurants.  This is a day of mourning over the destruction (twice) of the temple in Jerusalem, but the tourists seem to pay the price for it.  Try not to arrive on the evening of the holiday.

So, like the packed stores and overuse of red and green on December 24, holidays in Israel are clearly marked, if not necessary as כתוב בתורה, as written in the Bible.

Separate But Not Equal?

What a difference an ocean can make!  Ask the British and the Americans, who formally speak the same language.   Alas, the same is for Judaism.  Israelis, even not religious ones, and Americans view practicing their religion in a different light.

For Israelis, Ben Gurion’s “temporary” status quo agreement with the ultra-Orthodox in Israel, which gave them exemption from army service, had other consequences.  The only form of Judaism that is regarded as proper is orthodox, somewhere according to the practices of the national-Religious vein.  This means keeping kosher, separate men and women in synagogues, and set standards of “modesty”, i.e. women keeping their knees and elbows covered, to mention just a few items.  Most Israelis, including the most anti-religious ones, accept this as the only way to practice Judaism if you are going to do so at all.  Only in 2012 has the government been forced to recognize non-orthodox rabbis.  So, in Israel, all is clear, even if often ignored.

By contrast, the United States is the land of skepticism and variety.   In a recent poll, the second largest religious “sect” is the group of people who have doubts about religion (but not about god, to be precise).  The Pope and the protestant preachers continue to scream at their wayward flocks for failing to toe the line.  Jews are not exempt.  The vast majority of American Jews is not orthodox, but instead conservative or reform, whatever that means.  Therefore, families sit together with koshrut being often partial, if kept at all.  (Granted, many American Jews keep kosher homes.)  As for modesty, well, during my recent trip to L.A., the second largest Jewish concentration in the United States, I happened to walk by the nearby synagogue on Yom Kippur.  The men wore suits and ties.  As for the ladies of all ages, they were tastefully dressed for the most part, but many were showing knees and elbows, if not more.  My Israeli-born partner was a bit shocked and upset by this.  She remarked:  “How can they wear that to the synagogue?”  My comment that not everybody shared her values was not comprehended.  The issue of a different but still acceptable standard of modesty was beyond her grasp.  (To her credit, she could understand why people in L.A. drive to the synagogue on Yom Kippur.)

As an American Jew who has lived in Israel for so long, I explain the difference in perspective to the general attitude of skepticism in the United States.  In my opinion, most of the people at the LA Yom Kippur services do not actually “buy” the rules of Judaism, meaning they fundamentally think they are bubbameisis (old wives’ tales), but agree to pretend on Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, and Pesach in order to maintain some form of being Jewish.  By contrast, most Israelis believe that the Halacha, the Jewish guide to proper practices, is serious business, even if many openly ignore it.   Whether the two practices are equal, I choose to take the Fifth Amendment.

P.S. My apologies for the long break in writing.  I was on a family visit and then had to recover from it.