I have no first-hand knowledge of England. My short
jaunt to London during my tour of Europe some 45 years ago is irrelevant.
On the other hand, I have watched BBC television for many years now, mainly
programs featuring food, travel and house searches. To explain, watching the
news in Israel can be quite stressful and generally produces an urgent need for escapism.
From all these programs, I have created a certain picture of English life in
terms of food, houses and language. However, I am uncertain to what degree this
TV picture of life actually reflects reality.
The English attitude towards meals as shown on BBC
programs seems a bit extreme. First, it seems that the UK hosts a cult of worship towards ham and bacon, with each person having a strong opinion on the best
combination of ingredients, shape and cooking. The English, including Scots,
seem to be rather particular about the breakfast meat and view it as a required
element of any proper breakfast. The closest equivalent that I have ever observed
is the Iraqi obsession with perfect rice and how to properly prepare it, with
each grain having to be separate. By contrast, UK diners view vegetables as
guests that are only present because of noblesse oblige. The only plant-based
materials, aside from potatoes, that grace an English plate are a few green
peas, some lonely lettuce leaves or a few controversial Brussels sprouts. A
tomato and cucumber salad is exotic in the UK, apparently, not to mention any
side dish made from eggplant or zucchini. The final idiosyncrasy, at least as
compared to the Middle East, is the reluctance and discomfort of UK diners to eat
with their hands and actually touch their food. Whether in the Middle East or Ethiopia, grabbing a piece of bread and scooping some dip is an act of
community bonding. Apparently, such sharing is considered barbaric farther
north. It seems that English dining is a bit rigid in content and manner.
UK houses also seem to have certain characteristics.
First of all, most residences in the UK shown on the BBC have narrow entranceways,
barely wide enough for one person to stand, let alone allow two people to pass
each other. They remind me of the Spanish kitchens typical of the vacation flats that
the UK holidaygoers seem to fancy. Another desired feature of UK housing is
this space called a “solarium”. First of all, it seems a bit absurd given how few days a year the English sun deigns to appear. In sunnier climates, such
a room becomes a gigantic oven in short time and is useless. However, maybe I
am missing something. Moreover, according to the programs I view, open wood
beams in the ceiling are considered “character” and a positive feature. At a
glance, I would consider them an ideal place for dust and spider webs. Most
interestingly, on the real estate programs, many British house seekers insist on
having a pub nearby. It seems hard to
believe the Brits and Scots actually seek these features.
Of course, UK language is different from that of the
United States in terms of both words and style. I simply am unsure how much
people actually speak like the characters on the BBC do. Americans would never
say the words posh, high street and mate, using fancy,
main street or name brand and friend or man,
respectively. Even more striking is the English avoidance of direct speech.
Regardless of the situation, it is apparently acceptable to begin a
conversation with “nice weather”. Even more peculiar in my eyes is how far a
BBC character will go in order to avoid saying that something is derogative. Such
discretion is so unreal and actually may be unreal.
I have no idea how much any of these random
impressions of life in the British Isles are true or representative. It is
quite possible they do reflect the habits of some of the population just as the
content of The Housewives of Atlanta or any similar program does carry a
grain or two of truth. I imagine that I would need to spend some time there to
better ascertain whether BBC programs reflect reality or pseudo-reality. In the
meantime, I can only speculate and be amazed.
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